Communication Breakdown
My dad and I never have been able to communicate. We don’t understand each other. Never have. Looking back, I think we communicated best when we were silent. But maybe I am wrong about even that…
He’s still down in Purgatory while I am getting things ready (running around with my ass on fire) for him to come live here with me, thereby launching my official spinsterhood.
Some examples of our stellar communication skills:
About ten years ago:
Me: (Proudly, looking for approval) Dad, I am going to go to law school.
Dad: (Bewildered and Disappointed) But, why?
About twenty years ago:
Me:
Dad:
About ten minutes ago:
Me: You are baby-sitting her children while she’s at work? Maybe we should ask your doctor if that’s a good idea.
Dad: What do you think I am going to do? Rape them?
Whooahhh! Did that just happen? Did he really just say that?
If I thought we couldn’t communicate before, well Alzheimer’s has a lot in store for me!
He actually thinks that my concern is that he will affirmatively harm those kids. He can’t see that my concern is really that he will not supervise them closely enough to prevent them from harming themselves, and that if one of them does get hurt, that he won’t be able to react in the appropriate way.
His neurologist told me at our last visit that I should just go ahead and accept that I will NEVER EVER win another argument with dad again. I think now I understand what he meant.
There’s no logic and reason.
There’s only us. And what’s more, we have never liked it that way. It has never felt right. And I am afraid that it never will.
posted by None At All @ 9:01 PM
1 Comments:
I SOOO totally understand you. I only met my father a couple of times and it was like we were talking different languages. I remember when I was 19 and sat down to lunch with my dad "sperm donor" and the first words out of his mouth was "So, is your mother still as big of a cunt as she used to be"? Talk about a mood killer. The only advice I have is maybe try to find something he really likes to do and make yourself learn to love it too. That's probably the best chance of having a connection. That way he'll relate being with you = fun. Good luck!
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